Today, the Lord made me realize that everything in this world will just fail you, disappoint you. Even ourselves are disappointing and a failure. Only He never fails. Only in Him can we have our expectations.
The Lord gives us experiences and trials that may make us backslide or turn away from Him. But through these things can we have a deeper appreciation of what and who He is to us. It is just a matter of turning to our mingled spirit.
These past months, I have been very dormant and stagnant in my Christian life. I even chose the world over Him. Even though, in myself I know these things are not my real satisfaction, still I was so hardheaded that I still sought my happiness in darkness. But thank the Lord! In the midst of darkness, there is this light that leads us back to Him.
I don’t speak this out of knowledge, but of my experience of Him.
The church life, my church life is not perfect. Much more my Christian life is. Rather it is full of ups and downs. And these months, I’ve experienced a lot of downs. And in these down times, I chose to look at myself, at my situation, at my condition. I’ve been introspecting all this time, not realizing that all I need is to turn to Him, to call upon His name out of my heart’s inner content, to come to Him just as I am, and confess to Him that I can’t. In myself, I just can’t.
Praise the Lord for the new beginning everyday. He gives us new hope, new chance, to make it up to Him. It’s just so sweet of Him that even though we are the ones who have problems, and who are turning away from Him, He’s still the One making the way for us to come back to Him, to our home, to our real rest and satisfaction.
This may not be just “another” experience. May this be something that will change my living. Learn from mistakes. Then turn to the spirit. And just remain in the spirit, where we can have mutual enjoyment with the Lord.
Lord, I love You. I just love You. Thank You for loving me first that I am able to love You back. I want to love You again with my first love. Rekindle my love for You. Recover my heart and love. Recover myself. Lord, thank You for Your faithfulness. I am always unfaithful but You are. You never fail to remind me everyday that I am not my own anymore. Even though most of the times I ignore You, You still kept on whispering, even with that sweet, small voice, telling me that You miss me, that You still love me and that You want me to come back to You. Lord, thank You. Lord, I love You. I love You. I just love You.